| i am at work and i should really not be updating a dying livejournal.
i have 35 payroll reports to generate.
but lauren did some new entries so maybe i will too.
happy 2007. i am starting this year very weary, my friends. i'm not in love and i don't love my job. i have no savings. i am 25 years old. i imagine i see the beginnings of crows feet and a double chin more and more. it's grim.
i just got back from a vacation to scotland. it was hectic and emotional and i think from now on i just want to travel in the car to places that take cheapo american money in exchange for various goods. even cheap coffee...i love affordable caffeine.
maybe i will try this later on. | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment   |
| i enjoy…
1. the way marc bolan sings the words “ride a white swan”
2. a full can of frosty cold root beer
3. people being considerate towards the elderly and animals
4. fig scented lotions
5. high ponytails
i eat…
1. macaroni and cheese
2. candy
3. jessica’s pumpkin cookies
4. fruity pebbles
5. spinach pie
i listen to…
1. the sound of settling
2. concerning the ufo sighting near highland, IL
3. epitaph for my heart
4. sing your life
5. hands open
i watch…
1. golden girls
2. lost
3. dog whisperer
4. all about eve
5. manor house
this weekend i will…
1. go to lauren and chris’s wedding
2. sit in boston and baltimore airports and read historical fiction
3. go to kate and alex’s wedding
4. drink too many gin and tonics
5. worry about bobo's chin
for christmas i want…
1. golden girls season 6
2. ashley macdonald
3. sneakers
4. suitcase
5. mix cd’s
in 2007 i will…
1. get a new job or go back to school
2. not own a car
3. not get married
4. not have babies
5. not forget who i am | | comments: Leave a comment |
| hello friends. i hope you all had a lovely holiday season.
mine was a little weird, the way i imagine it gets for families with adult children who do not yet have children of their own. tara is a nurse that always ends up working christmas day, so we do the entire holiday christmas eve. my plan was to sleep over westford christmas eve, but by the time we got back from wakefield i was in full force worry mode so i drove back to the city and spent christmas day in my apartment. it sounds really pathetic, but it was really all i wanted to do. stay in bed and watch christmas specials on tape. read into it what you will.
for christmas i managed to finagle seasons 2 and 3 of the golden girls from jay and courtney respectively. this has led to a golden marathon that is still going strong weeks later. when added to season 1 (which i already owned) it means i now have 9 discs total of sweet, senior magic. poor erin has been hearing the theme song coming out of my room every night and, bless her heart, still hasn't killed me...but hey, they make me happy.
our new year's eve party went better than expected. there were last minute fears that nobody would show up but daniel, but in the end we had a solid crowd to drink champage out of plastic glasses and watch "the art of the extended orgasm" while enjoying an assortment of dips and somebody's pot. the drunker i got the more intent i became on bringing people in my room to "look at my cats." bobo, as always, didn't let me down. sylvie, also consistent, hid under the bed and gave people dirty looks.
my car failed inspection, leading me to conclude it really is the worst car ever, but at least i no longer need it to get to work, so it's not so much stressful as expensive, which in turn leads to more stress.
2005 was, without a doubt, my worst year ever. i have a lot of hope for 2006. i'm working really hard to do everything i can to make it happen. thank you all for being such amazing friends.
all my love in the new year!!! | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| the other day the comcast remote broke. this meant our tv was stuck on vh1 for 2 days. as a result i ended up watching the "100 most outrageous red carpet moments" in its entirety. that's a lot of bad tv. it was worth it to see that clip of kimberly stewart crashing her moped again, though. that shit never gets old.
i've had a cold for weeks, and desperately need a haircut. my split ends now have their own split ends.
i went to home depot last weekend and got one of those mini xmas trees. like, it's the top of a spruce tree stuck in a plastic pot with red foil around it and some cheap bows twist tied on 5 branches. it's 2 feet tall, and i was proud that i bought something real...until i looked at it in the car at a stop light and thought..."that little pot won't support your elaborate root structure for very long, at which point i will have to plant you or silently put you by the curb some cold sunday night along with all the other trash." and i felt guilty.
so i went to target and bought some mini lights. better to think about all that depressing stuff later. sometimes i can be a damn good american.
my parents sold our house. as of march i will no longer have any reason to be in westford. how about that... | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | brand new colony - postal service | | Subject: | admire this! | | Time: | 09:14 am |
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| i now own two cats. they are retirees from minghou, where we get all our siamese. i really only wanted one, but these two had bonded and there was no way to separate them without being a heartless bitch. the sealpoint is a gentleman and he has the unfortunate moniker of mr. bojangles, or bobo man for short. the lilacpoint is a lady and i was able to modify her name slightly to sylvia, which i approve of wholeheartedly. they are both about 5 years old, and bobo (ugh) comes with quite the title...he has sired 13 siamese grand champions, which means i guess he really does deserve his rest now that his balls are gone. i'm sure you will all be regaled with many a story in the coming decade about my new babies, but for now perhaps a simple photo will do.
lauren, they really love the blanket you made me. i hope that's alright. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| half hour left of work. for some reason today has been slow like a science class. tonight i am driving back to westford to sleep cos i have more training in waltham in the morning, and the traffic is lighter coming into the city than out of it. also, my mom has really been missing me and i thought it would be nice to spend time with her...make dinner, rent a movie, etc. this was our plan, until 5 minutes ago when she called me to say she had already eaten and that she was watching the season premiere of LOST tonight (apparently her new favorite show), so i am on my own with dinner and the movie. if i want, she will take some stuffed shells out of the freezer for me but i have to get my own sauce for them. i had to laugh. seriously, i shouldn't be surprised. i mean, if i was my mom and i spent hours every day with little kids i would never come home happy.
want to hear a cat story? no? well, here's one anyway...
sullivan is smart and knows how to rip open bags of expensive cat food when everyone is sleeping and help himself. he also helps himself to fruit cake, bread, and soy chicken, but those are different stories. so, the other day my mom got a bag of cat litter roughly the same size as the bags of food she usually gets. it was in the basement, by the stairs, and when my mom went down to do laundry the other day before work she saw sullivan had ripped a hole in it and was searching for food, while his two fat and slightly mentally chanllenged brothers looked on. in my mom's own words, she "yelled and gave them little spankings and chased them upstairs" but since she was on her way to work she didn't have time to clean it up. the best part of the story is that when she came home hours later all three cats had shit in the spilled litter. apparently they got confused, or else they really disagreed with the "little spankings" my mom dished out.
i can't blame them, i never liked them either.
twelve minutes left... | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| so...my fabulously crazy and very pregnant former fsc roomate sue did some weird kind of new survey thing where you have to tag people...or something...when you finish based on how long it took, and since she picked me as one of the people, and did i mention she is very PREGNANT and bored a lot and looking for things to read, i feel i have to comply.
"Write 20 random facts about yourself then tag the same number of people as minutes it takes you to write the facts."
1. I am at work and should be doing work but I am doing this. I cannot imagone what people did at office jobs before internet. Clipped coupons? Conducted sordid affairs?
2. I was very closed off to any 9/11 sentiment when it initially happened, but last night, at 2:00 AM, I found myself watching "The Flight That Fought Back" on the Discovery channel and was utterly overcome with emotion. Needless to say, this surprised me.
3. I love candy tremendously, but my teeth have become so sensitive to sugar I can no longer eat a lot of it. I mourn this like a relative.
4. I love handwriting. I will keep just about anything if it has some handwriting to personalize it.
5. I was born on the same day as the great Hulk Hogan. This makes me wicked tough.
6. I want to name all my many future pets after figures in history. Suggestions??
7. I love diseases. They fascinate me to no end and I am fond of saying I would like to die of Ebola "just to see what it's like". Erin has other ideas and wants me to die of a "disease of hotness" where you basically die due to a massive orgasm. I'm okay with that, too.
8. I haven't had a serious relationship, or even a substantial fling, in almost a year. If you know me you know this is craaaaazy. But somehow it's been just right.
9. I love tea. All sorts. Tea and biscuits (UK variety, not US southern).
10. There have been moments where I have seriously considered marrying Matt (my Scottish bf when I was there) so I can move back to Edinburgh. But that's just daft...
11. I like Phil Collins.
12. I only recently (like, since I started at Planned Parenthood, which is odd...) decided that I might actually want to be a mother someday. And not just to a whole crapload of abandoned and limbless animals. This also surprised me, but if you refer back to #8, I don't think it will be something to concern myself with for awhile.
13. I can turn my arms all the way around kind of funny...
14. I love "The Golden Girls". It doesn't get any better than four old ladies (a slut, a bimbo, a wiseass, and a no-nonsense linebacker) in horrible 80's attire, shaking up Miami.
15. I never stay upset or mad for more than ten minutes. If only everyone could be like this. It makes my life so much easier, except, say, when the person I'm "mad" at is one of those "I hold a grudge forever" people. That's a whole new can of worms.
16. I am going to be my sister's maid of honor when she gets married next summer and I am already really nervous about giving a speech worthy of how much I love her.
17. I worry a lot. To be friends with me, you have to be patient when I'm anxious, cos otherwise you'll just want to hit me really hard with something sharp.
18. I save everything. This spells C-L-U-T-T-E-R.
19. I love people watching because there is always so much to mock. This might be viewed by some as mean, but hey, it's true. There you have it.
20. I am a vegetarian but I dislike most vegetables. Go figure.
this took me a half hour (i'm at work, after all), and now it's time for coffee. i don't know one person that will do this, nevermind the alleged 30 i am supposed to "tag", but i hope this makes 5 minutes of your day more entertaining, sue! xo | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | the "best of 1984" cd i got yesterday at the xmas tree shop | | Time: | 11:57 am |
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| i would like to extend a warm hand of welcome to the approaching fall. this summer has been a real drag. i know it still gets hot during the day, but at night...yes, at night there is no denying the truth. alternately, you could also go to the christmas tree shop like i did yesterday (in search of curtains, but instead i spent $50 on crap like a bag of mini charleston chews for the freezer), where the halloween/thanksgiving display takes up 1/4 of the store. ceramic cornucopias and artificial autumn leaf swags did their best to distract me, but ultimately failed.
when i got home me and erin did more mopping and hung up a clock. that girl is my little handyman. she gets out her tools and FIXES SHIT! i only wish she had her safety goggles. we put out bags and bags of trash, and then later on were amazed to see people outside shopping in them.
on sunday we took a scenic drive to gardner, where erin's mom susan and her man steve hosted a labor day cookout at some state park. it was great to sit outside in the sun on a picnic table and watch packs of surly youths trek by on their way to do something i most certainly never did. later, coming home, we passed a grocery store that i am convinced was the one me and mark had our big fight in before his pizza party all those years ago. what an odd part of the state that area is for me. like some bizarro massachusetts.
we don't have a working tv yet so i have seen practically zero coverage of that whore katrina. all i have is npr, and folks, i'm here to tell you that i am in love. i want to listen to hours and hours of "all things considered", "this american life", "wait, wait don't tell me" and "car talk" til i explode. i lay in bed and listen and get smart.
i love my job and i love my new neighborhood and i want to hang out, so come visit dear friends of mine. i finally have a place to put you. erin will sing her colon blow song. you'll laugh, i promise. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| i have decided to do a fall list.
things i want to have in my life this fall
- apple picking to be followed by apple crisp and/or pie
- kettle corn, and lots of it
- pumpkin carving (pumpkin bread, ice cream, and those pumpkin spice lattes, too)
- candy corn, but not the kind with honey or chocolate
- autumn-themed dinner party
- going for walks in the cold air but being warm from the sun and then rolling around in colorful dead leaves, which will then cause me to spend the rest of the day picking little sticks and bugs out of my hair
- the MFA, cos it's been awhile
- actually go see my friend's bands play
- harry potter and the goblet of fire...dark times are ahead, harry
- new plants
- new cat/s
- golden girls season 2 on dvd
- foliage drive in the white mountains, where you get up early and go out for breakfast first, then look out the window while listening to fabulous NPR or singalong mix tapes
- that pumpkin festival in NH where they have the world record for lit jack-o-lanterns
this is all i can think of right now. i'm just trying to move forward and get excited about things again. if anyone wants to do any of these things with me, speak up. i am sitting quietly and listening for the first time in forever. | | comments: 11 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | strangeways here we come - on cassette no less | | Subject: | a rush and a push | | Time: | 10:30 am |
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| so i guess i'm 24 now. this pleases me because it is a multiple of 8, and i sure do love the number 8.
to say a lot has been happening in my life lately is to say nothing. to be blunt, i have never been so unhappy as i have been in the last few months, but things are finally shaping up. i got a new job as a HR associate at planned parenthood (where melanie works!), and erin and i finally found a great apartment in the oak square neighborhood of brighton. i gave my notice at unica, and will be done here in a week. then we'll move, and i start my new job on the 29th.
my car has been in the shop for over 2 weeks while they try and find me a good used transmission, but nothing ever changes there and i am sick of talking about it and i just want it fixed so i can move and never need it for work again. my kingdom for a bus pass. i should note here that i owe sherri tieuli a lifetime of kindness for her generosity in loaning me her car as needed these past few weeks. i never, ever could have gotten through it without the whole tieuli family. mother of god!
so what else? lauren and i just had a really great weekend in ogunquit, and my birthday was also really relaxing once i got home from work. we had a cookout...just my family, jay, and lauren this time...and courtney made me a carrot cake that was absolutely delicious. matt sent me a mug and edinburgh tea from whittards that i was besotted with all those months ago, and dan came to my house in the middle of the night and left his traditional candy/mixtape present on my (borrowed) car for me to find in the morning. so very thoughtful. text messages came after midnight from the two people not in my time zone (matt and rob), which i found especially heartwarming. erin got me a manicure/pedicure and lauren got me the traditional "lots of little thoughtful things" (all of which i adore). i have giftcards and a new ironing board and some of those huge yankee candles (from my family, of course). yes, i am lucky in this sense. i have been miserable, but all these people, they love me and i know things have to keep getting better.
now you can consider yourself updated... | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | "this is such a pity" - weezer | | Subject: | imaginary grace | | Time: | 12:18 pm |
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| there is so much shit going on in my life right now even the thought of updating this is tiring.
i keep thinking about how, back in february, me and erin made those abe lincoln stickers to hand out at soul night in honor of the great slain president's birthday. i can't believe we ever had the time and the enthusiasm for something so small and silly. i am up to my eyeballs right now in car trouble (this week, folks, i have won a failed transmission...there goes $1000 and a week of no car, 2 weeks after $500 worth of brake work), the stress and secrecy of applying for new jobs when you hate your current one, and the apartment thing. i can't even think about that right now...i can't make appointments i can't get to, and erin also has no car since hers was broken into and damaged 2 weeks ago. we are a couple of sad, sorry apples, barely clinging to our sanities, which sounds like sanitary napkin, but isn't. i have no energy, no enthusiasm, no optimism. i know it won't last and things will be better as soon as next week when my car is fixed...but man, this is like some biblical test.
thank heaven for lauren and her fabulous parents, who have lent me the trusty geo for a time, and who tell me..."don't cry, it will all work out."
today dan is 25. we're doing the whole "not talking" thing (when i'm not calling him with car questions, that is), but i called when i woke up this morning thinking i would sing happy birthday in a voicemail. well...defying his own rule...he answered, and i was left looking like a bonehead. oh well.
time for lunch and coffee. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| time for an update, i think.
i am inspired by the hefner revival i am in the midst of this summer. i finally buckled down and bought "the fidelity wars" (how did i not buy this 5 years ago?) and it has been a lovely treat...like reese's pieces at the bottom of a bowl of ice cream. it sounds divine on my new car stereo - which actually works....today.
anyway, the musical delights are much appreciated, because otherwise this summer has been really tiring. my car is a whore, erin and i are looking for an apartment i can afford, and i need a new job, so revising my resume and scouring the internet for availabilities (living and professional, though thank GOD not personal) has become my life. also, recently, it has also included reading harry potter, seeing movies with lauren, and paying for numerous $2 cups of coffee. if you don't know the significance of this then you probably aren't laughing, which is too bad, cos man, they're good stories. pitiful, but good.
the rest of the summer is looking better. erin and i both have birthdays next month, she has a graduation (so hott!!), and lauren and i are going to ogunquit for a weekend in august. very excited!! i can't wait til i just move and can get settled. i've been in this weird limbo since scotland...like i am just permanently in a state of holding my breath. time to relax, if i can even remember what that feels like, or its tainted by other memories.
ahh well.
and ashley, i miss you terribly. if my car doesn't break in the next couple weeks i am SO coming to see you. xo | | comments: Leave a comment |
| things right now are kinda bad. my pseudo relationship has concluded its brief run, and it finished with a twist ending. the twist was a bit unexpected, which i didn't care for, but good riddance to bad rubbish. also, i have some sort of flu and it's been dragging on for days and i wanted to call in sick today but i couldn't. it figures the least paid person at my work is the only one that can't be replaced last minute. nobody else wants to answer these damn phone calls either. so i don't feel good all over, but i'm trying to think about the other stuff i have going on this weekend...the good stuff.
- i bought season one of "strangers with candy" and it has been providing me with much joy at work.
- courtney and jon are having a cookout sunday. i love a good cookout!
- dan colby's fourth of july bonanza is monday. i just need to find a place to watch some fireworks...
- lbt and i are seeing WOW tonight. with candy.
my car isn't broken today, i have a large and delicious cup of coffee on my desk steaming away, and i just bought a book on ebay of 1930s sepia-toned photographs of scotland.
already feeling a bit better.
yesterday my mom and i were watching the cats sit in the window in the sunroom looking longingly outside where "daddy" was doing something unnecessary (but essnetial) in the yard.
"don't ask me why, but they wanna be with daddy." i remarked to my mom knowingly.
"they're just a couple of desperate housecats!" she replied, thrilled with the pop-culture relevance of her joke.
my smile faltered a little, but in the end i hugged her and said, "good one mum."
m*u*s*i*c
"dancer in the dark" soundtrack | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| man, i need to update this thing.
today i've got a real case of the monday's.
(debbie downer music here)
my car needs more electrical work and i have a sore throat that won't quit.
the weekend was pretty good, though. i was dogsitting, and despite the heat wave and thunder being in heat, it went off pretty well. i worked and sunbathed and got an oil change for doris. i had ash, erin, and dan colby over and we cooked and went to kimball's and erin played the piano. i went to lauren's and swam in her pool for the first time in years. i yelled obscenities at a tivo'd tom cruise (what a dink) on tv and watched more episodes of "animal cops: houston" than was probably good for me. i went to the westford library booksale (where i got 10+ books for $9, including a springsteen coffee table book for ash) and had tea and hobnobs while reading trashy fiction set in britain. i added a few freckles to my face. i made fun of matt when i phoned and he said he was eating "spaghetti hoops" (stupid british people).
lately i can't get enough of crabtree and evelyn's "la source" hand therapy and pickity place's raspberry orange iced tea mix. also, i am going back to edinburgh after christmas because, i have found, i cannot live without it.
bobby brown's reality show premieres thursday at 10 pm on the bravo channel. i am certainly not one for reality tv when there are plenty of good lifetime and discovery shows to watch, but this one i am VERY excited about. bobby, whitney, bobbi kristina...i'm already fascinated. you must watch. i know it will be good.
finishing this up i already feel better. now it's off to have lunch with my not-boyfriend.
MUSIC FOR MY EARS
kaiser chiefs - everyday i love you less and less
the shins - when i goosestep
the smiths - pretty girls make graves
the postal service - the district sleeps alone tonight | | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment |
| i planned today poorly.
we just had monday off and i won't be here the rest of the week cos i'll be in maine, but i neglected to take into consideration today. so here i am at work. just waiting for the day to be over.
the weekend was half busy, half boring. i gardened. i amassed another 3 red sox cups from dunkin donuts. i had a whole saturday with djo - complete with breakfast and thrift stores and idylwilde and i drove the whole day, which is amazing. i hung out with courtney and almost hung out with, like, 5 other people, but then it never happened.
brian was in savannah for the weekend so we hung out yesterday, as planned. the weather cooperated, which i appreciated. we had lunch at blue ginger and coffees on the charles and much conversation til very late at night.
i finished "firestarter" - which means i have now (i'm almost positive) read every s. king book except "the tommyknockers" (sp?), which i don't feel i have to read since even the author advises against it, cos he was on crack at the time and barely remembers writing it.
typing any form of the word knockers just makes me feel like a 12 year old boy.
i feel weary. i feel like there are lots of big decisions to be made and i'll just fuck them up.
erin, we need to get moving on this moving thing.
ashmac, we need to touch faces soon.
rob, yes, we need to talk.
and lau, we need to do anything.
i like picking cd's without looking lately. just flipping with one had and keeping my eyes on the road, telling myself that whatever it is i will listen to at least 3 songs. it makes for interesting rides. some people would probably be surprised to know how much i think about them in the car, because they are so attached to some music. maybe they wouldn't think anything of it, but i think it's kind of amazing...these secret legacies that keep them in my heart for always. | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| i made the switch today from regular bland animal crackers to the cinnamon graham variety. while it provided a nice change, the aftertaste is distinctly cinnamony...like, the burning kind of cinnamon.
some unican stole the office depot catalogue from my drawer and i am PISSED. keep your paws off, unicans! (you have to say that like brian fellows)
and ash, can we do o'naturals some night this week? or anything?? i miss you. | | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment |
| my brake lights aren't working again. this is the fourth time since easter this has happened, and when i figured out tonight they were fucked up...again...well...i burst into tears. again. my anxiety is so out of hand, but will i do something about it? not yet.
doris is going to the dealership next week, though. that girl needs a goddamn beating. i wanted to kick the bumper like something out of a cartoon. still do.
so yah. it makes it hard to remember my joy at seeing ashmac for cd shopping and marshalls (where i got a tweed clutch for $3) last night, though it was fabulous to see her and go through a tirade of cruel jokes at many other people's expense.
i have a new bed. my first bed in westford that fits 2 people, though i have never felt more alone.
we all know what kind of cue that last bit is... | | comments: 6 comments or Leave a comment |
| what i really want to do is watch more episodes of "coupling" (BBC) but i can't because this dude has been sitting in the lobby for the last 20 minutes and it would be very obvious. it's not even 8:00 AM! why are you here, dude with a moustache like barry williams? why?!
jen, my trusty co-worker, is on vacation (in myrtle beach....mmmhmmm) so i get to work her hours instead of my bad ones. this means i come in at 7:30, and leave at 4:00. it's fabulous. the ride home is seamless. my radio in doris still isn't working, though, so i have been forced to drag my 1997 "boombox" into the front passenger seat and listen to ancient mixtapes, cos the cd's skip on all those bumpy back roads. i'm getting a wee bit desperate.
and thank god, seconds ago my friend brian dropped off 6 movies for me to borrow...5 of which i haven't seen.
- clerks
- vision quest
- before sunrise
- where the heart is
- bulworth
- ghost in the shell
he's the best. | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| right now i am telling rob online that i am going to revolutionize saving money this summer, and i mean it with all my heart. i have observed some of the cheapest people known to man over the last few years...you know who you are...and i'm ready to learn. the thing is, i want to be thrifty as opposed to cheap. we all know the difference. give me some ideas.
do i want to listen to elefant's "misfit" again?
why yes, yes i do! this might just be the best mixtape ever. | | comments: 7 comments or Leave a comment |
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