i spill my coffee every morning

giving it the old college try

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 16:50:03 GMT

i am at work and i should really not be updating a dying livejournal.
i have 35 payroll reports to generate.

but lauren did some new entries so maybe i will too.

happy 2007. i am starting this year very weary, my friends. i'm not in love and i don't love my job. i have no savings. i am 25 years old. i imagine i see the beginnings of crows feet and a double chin more and more. it's grim.

i just got back from a vacation to scotland. it was hectic and emotional and i think from now on i just want to travel in the car to places that take cheapo american money in exchange for various goods. even cheap coffee...i love affordable caffeine.

maybe i will try this later on.

in the spirit of three stars

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 18:18:39 GMT

i enjoy…

1. the way marc bolan sings the words “ride a white swan”
2. a full can of frosty cold root beer
3. people being considerate towards the elderly and animals
4. fig scented lotions
5. high ponytails

i eat…

1. macaroni and cheese
2. candy
3. jessica’s pumpkin cookies
4. fruity pebbles
5. spinach pie

i listen to…

1. the sound of settling
2. concerning the ufo sighting near highland, IL
3. epitaph for my heart
4. sing your life
5. hands open

i watch…

1. golden girls
2. lost
3. dog whisperer
4. all about eve
5. manor house

this weekend i will…

1. go to lauren and chris’s wedding
2. sit in boston and baltimore airports and read historical fiction
3. go to kate and alex’s wedding
4. drink too many gin and tonics
5. worry about bobo's chin

for christmas i want…

1. golden girls season 6
2. ashley macdonald
3. sneakers
4. suitcase
5. mix cd’s

in 2007 i will…

1. get a new job or go back to school
2. not own a car
3. not get married
4. not have babies
5. not forget who i am

medium french vanilla with sugar and extra milk, please

Thu, 05 Jan 2006 14:46:20 GMT

hello friends. i hope you all had a lovely holiday season.

mine was a little weird, the way i imagine it gets for families with adult children who do not yet have children of their own. tara is a nurse that always ends up working christmas day, so we do the entire holiday christmas eve. my plan was to sleep over westford christmas eve, but by the time we got back from wakefield i was in full force worry mode so i drove back to the city and spent christmas day in my apartment. it sounds really pathetic, but it was really all i wanted to do. stay in bed and watch christmas specials on tape. read into it what you will.

for christmas i managed to finagle seasons 2 and 3 of the golden girls from jay and courtney respectively. this has led to a golden marathon that is still going strong weeks later. when added to season 1 (which i already owned) it means i now have 9 discs total of sweet, senior magic. poor erin has been hearing the theme song coming out of my room every night and, bless her heart, still hasn't killed me...but hey, they make me happy.

our new year's eve party went better than expected. there were last minute fears that nobody would show up but daniel, but in the end we had a solid crowd to drink champage out of plastic glasses and watch "the art of the extended orgasm" while enjoying an assortment of dips and somebody's pot. the drunker i got the more intent i became on bringing people in my room to "look at my cats." bobo, as always, didn't let me down. sylvie, also consistent, hid under the bed and gave people dirty looks.

my car failed inspection, leading me to conclude it really is the worst car ever, but at least i no longer need it to get to work, so it's not so much stressful as expensive, which in turn leads to more stress.

2005 was, without a doubt, my worst year ever. i have a lot of hope for 2006. i'm working really hard to do everything i can to make it happen. thank you all for being such amazing friends.

all my love in the new year!!!

it's christmas time in the city

Tue, 06 Dec 2005 14:47:05 GMT

the other day the comcast remote broke. this meant our tv was stuck on vh1 for 2 days. as a result i ended up watching the "100 most outrageous red carpet moments" in its entirety. that's a lot of bad tv. it was worth it to see that clip of kimberly stewart crashing her moped again, though. that shit never gets old.

i've had a cold for weeks, and desperately need a haircut. my split ends now have their own split ends.

i went to home depot last weekend and got one of those mini xmas trees. like, it's the top of a spruce tree stuck in a plastic pot with red foil around it and some cheap bows twist tied on 5 branches. it's 2 feet tall, and i was proud that i bought something real...until i looked at it in the car at a stop light and thought..."that little pot won't support your elaborate root structure for very long, at which point i will have to plant you or silently put you by the curb some cold sunday night along with all the other trash." and i felt guilty.

so i went to target and bought some mini lights. better to think about all that depressing stuff later. sometimes i can be a damn good american.

my parents sold our house. as of march i will no longer have any reason to be in westford. how about that...

admire this!

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 13:23:38 GMT

i now own two cats. they are retirees from minghou, where we get all our siamese. i really only wanted one, but these two had bonded and there was no way to separate them without being a heartless bitch. the sealpoint is a gentleman and he has the unfortunate moniker of mr. bojangles, or bobo man for short. the lilacpoint is a lady and i was able to modify her name slightly to sylvia, which i approve of wholeheartedly. they are both about 5 years old, and bobo (ugh) comes with quite the title...he has sired 13 siamese grand champions, which means i guess he really does deserve his rest now that his balls are gone. i'm sure you will all be regaled with many a story in the coming decade about my new babies, but for now perhaps a simple photo will do.

lauren, they really love the blanket you made me. i hope that's alright.

humor me while i pass the time

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 20:49:33 GMT

half hour left of work. for some reason today has been slow like a science class. tonight i am driving back to westford to sleep cos i have more training in waltham in the morning, and the traffic is lighter coming into the city than out of it. also, my mom has really been missing me and i thought it would be nice to spend time with her...make dinner, rent a movie, etc. this was our plan, until 5 minutes ago when she called me to say she had already eaten and that she was watching the season premiere of LOST tonight (apparently her new favorite show), so i am on my own with dinner and the movie. if i want, she will take some stuffed shells out of the freezer for me but i have to get my own sauce for them. i had to laugh. seriously, i shouldn't be surprised. i mean, if i was my mom and i spent hours every day with little kids i would never come home happy.

want to hear a cat story? no? well, here's one anyway...

sullivan is smart and knows how to rip open bags of expensive cat food when everyone is sleeping and help himself. he also helps himself to fruit cake, bread, and soy chicken, but those are different stories. so, the other day my mom got a bag of cat litter roughly the same size as the bags of food she usually gets. it was in the basement, by the stairs, and when my mom went down to do laundry the other day before work she saw sullivan had ripped a hole in it and was searching for food, while his two fat and slightly mentally chanllenged brothers looked on. in my mom's own words, she "yelled and gave them little spankings and chased them upstairs" but since she was on her way to work she didn't have time to clean it up. the best part of the story is that when she came home hours later all three cats had shit in the spilled litter. apparently they got confused, or else they really disagreed with the "little spankings" my mom dished out.

i can't blame them, i never liked them either.

twelve minutes left...

Mon, 12 Sep 2005 17:32:55 GMT

bon voyage, ashmaccaroon.
south korea just got a whole lot more appealing.

for sue...queen bee of LJ

Mon, 12 Sep 2005 16:17:22 GMT

so...my fabulously crazy and very pregnant former fsc roomate sue did some weird kind of new survey thing where you have to tag people...or something...when you finish based on how long it took, and since she picked me as one of the people, and did i mention she is very PREGNANT and bored a lot and looking for things to read, i feel i have to comply.

"Write 20 random facts about yourself then tag the same number of people as minutes it takes you to write the facts."

1. I am at work and should be doing work but I am doing this. I cannot imagone what people did at office jobs before internet. Clipped coupons? Conducted sordid affairs?
2. I was very closed off to any 9/11 sentiment when it initially happened, but last night, at 2:00 AM, I found myself watching "The Flight That Fought Back" on the Discovery channel and was utterly overcome with emotion. Needless to say, this surprised me.
3. I love candy tremendously, but my teeth have become so sensitive to sugar I can no longer eat a lot of it. I mourn this like a relative.
4. I love handwriting. I will keep just about anything if it has some handwriting to personalize it.
5. I was born on the same day as the great Hulk Hogan. This makes me wicked tough.
6. I want to name all my many future pets after figures in history. Suggestions??
7. I love diseases. They fascinate me to no end and I am fond of saying I would like to die of Ebola "just to see what it's like". Erin has other ideas and wants me to die of a "disease of hotness" where you basically die due to a massive orgasm. I'm okay with that, too.
8. I haven't had a serious relationship, or even a substantial fling, in almost a year. If you know me you know this is craaaaazy. But somehow it's been just right.
9. I love tea. All sorts. Tea and biscuits (UK variety, not US southern).
10. There have been moments where I have seriously considered marrying Matt (my Scottish bf when I was there) so I can move back to Edinburgh. But that's just daft...
11. I like Phil Collins.
12. I only recently (like, since I started at Planned Parenthood, which is odd...) decided that I might actually want to be a mother someday. And not just to a whole crapload of abandoned and limbless animals. This also surprised me, but if you refer back to #8, I don't think it will be something to concern myself with for awhile.
13. I can turn my arms all the way around kind of funny...
14. I love "The Golden Girls". It doesn't get any better than four old ladies (a slut, a bimbo, a wiseass, and a no-nonsense linebacker) in horrible 80's attire, shaking up Miami.
15. I never stay upset or mad for more than ten minutes. If only everyone could be like this. It makes my life so much easier, except, say, when the person I'm "mad" at is one of those "I hold a grudge forever" people. That's a whole new can of worms.
16. I am going to be my sister's maid of honor when she gets married next summer and I am already really nervous about giving a speech worthy of how much I love her.
17. I worry a lot. To be friends with me, you have to be patient when I'm anxious, cos otherwise you'll just want to hit me really hard with something sharp.
18. I save everything. This spells C-L-U-T-T-E-R.
19. I love people watching because there is always so much to mock. This might be viewed by some as mean, but hey, it's true. There you have it.
20. I am a vegetarian but I dislike most vegetables. Go figure.

this took me a half hour (i'm at work, after all), and now it's time for coffee. i don't know one person that will do this, nevermind the alleged 30 i am supposed to "tag", but i hope this makes 5 minutes of your day more entertaining, sue! xo

Tue, 06 Sep 2005 16:25:30 GMT

i would like to extend a warm hand of welcome to the approaching fall. this summer has been a real drag. i know it still gets hot during the day, but at night...yes, at night there is no denying the truth. alternately, you could also go to the christmas tree shop like i did yesterday (in search of curtains, but instead i spent $50 on crap like a bag of mini charleston chews for the freezer), where the halloween/thanksgiving display takes up 1/4 of the store. ceramic cornucopias and artificial autumn leaf swags did their best to distract me, but ultimately failed.

when i got home me and erin did more mopping and hung up a clock. that girl is my little handyman. she gets out her tools and FIXES SHIT! i only wish she had her safety goggles. we put out bags and bags of trash, and then later on were amazed to see people outside shopping in them.

on sunday we took a scenic drive to gardner, where erin's mom susan and her man steve hosted a labor day cookout at some state park. it was great to sit outside in the sun on a picnic table and watch packs of surly youths trek by on their way to do something i most certainly never did. later, coming home, we passed a grocery store that i am convinced was the one me and mark had our big fight in before his pizza party all those years ago. what an odd part of the state that area is for me. like some bizarro massachusetts.

we don't have a working tv yet so i have seen practically zero coverage of that whore katrina. all i have is npr, and folks, i'm here to tell you that i am in love. i want to listen to hours and hours of "all things considered", "this american life", "wait, wait don't tell me" and "car talk" til i explode. i lay in bed and listen and get smart.

i love my job and i love my new neighborhood and i want to hang out, so come visit dear friends of mine. i finally have a place to put you. erin will sing her colon blow song. you'll laugh, i promise.

just this heart deep and true

Tue, 23 Aug 2005 15:56:52 GMT

i have decided to do a fall list.

things i want to have in my life this fall

- apple picking to be followed by apple crisp and/or pie
- kettle corn, and lots of it
- pumpkin carving (pumpkin bread, ice cream, and those pumpkin spice lattes, too)
- candy corn, but not the kind with honey or chocolate
- autumn-themed dinner party
- going for walks in the cold air but being warm from the sun and then rolling around in colorful dead leaves, which will then cause me to spend the rest of the day picking little sticks and bugs out of my hair
- the MFA, cos it's been awhile
- actually go see my friend's bands play
- harry potter and the goblet of fire...dark times are ahead, harry
- new plants
- new cat/s
- golden girls season 2 on dvd
- foliage drive in the white mountains, where you get up early and go out for breakfast first, then look out the window while listening to fabulous NPR or singalong mix tapes
- that pumpkin festival in NH where they have the world record for lit jack-o-lanterns

this is all i can think of right now. i'm just trying to move forward and get excited about things again. if anyone wants to do any of these things with me, speak up. i am sitting quietly and listening for the first time in forever.

a rush and a push

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 14:36:59 GMT

so i guess i'm 24 now. this pleases me because it is a multiple of 8, and i sure do love the number 8.

to say a lot has been happening in my life lately is to say nothing. to be blunt, i have never been so unhappy as i have been in the last few months, but things are finally shaping up. i got a new job as a HR associate at planned parenthood (where melanie works!), and erin and i finally found a great apartment in the oak square neighborhood of brighton. i gave my notice at unica, and will be done here in a week. then we'll move, and i start my new job on the 29th.

my car has been in the shop for over 2 weeks while they try and find me a good used transmission, but nothing ever changes there and i am sick of talking about it and i just want it fixed so i can move and never need it for work again. my kingdom for a bus pass. i should note here that i owe sherri tieuli a lifetime of kindness for her generosity in loaning me her car as needed these past few weeks. i never, ever could have gotten through it without the whole tieuli family. mother of god!

so what else? lauren and i just had a really great weekend in ogunquit, and my birthday was also really relaxing once i got home from work. we had a cookout...just my family, jay, and lauren this time...and courtney made me a carrot cake that was absolutely delicious. matt sent me a mug and edinburgh tea from whittards that i was besotted with all those months ago, and dan came to my house in the middle of the night and left his traditional candy/mixtape present on my (borrowed) car for me to find in the morning. so very thoughtful. text messages came after midnight from the two people not in my time zone (matt and rob), which i found especially heartwarming. erin got me a manicure/pedicure and lauren got me the traditional "lots of little thoughtful things" (all of which i adore). i have giftcards and a new ironing board and some of those huge yankee candles (from my family, of course). yes, i am lucky in this sense. i have been miserable, but all these people, they love me and i know things have to keep getting better.

now you can consider yourself updated...

imaginary grace

Tue, 02 Aug 2005 16:35:32 GMT

there is so much shit going on in my life right now even the thought of updating this is tiring.

i keep thinking about how, back in february, me and erin made those abe lincoln stickers to hand out at soul night in honor of the great slain president's birthday. i can't believe we ever had the time and the enthusiasm for something so small and silly. i am up to my eyeballs right now in car trouble (this week, folks, i have won a failed transmission...there goes $1000 and a week of no car, 2 weeks after $500 worth of brake work), the stress and secrecy of applying for new jobs when you hate your current one, and the apartment thing. i can't even think about that right now...i can't make appointments i can't get to, and erin also has no car since hers was broken into and damaged 2 weeks ago. we are a couple of sad, sorry apples, barely clinging to our sanities, which sounds like sanitary napkin, but isn't. i have no energy, no enthusiasm, no optimism. i know it won't last and things will be better as soon as next week when my car is fixed...but man, this is like some biblical test.

thank heaven for lauren and her fabulous parents, who have lent me the trusty geo for a time, and who tell me..."don't cry, it will all work out."

today dan is 25. we're doing the whole "not talking" thing (when i'm not calling him with car questions, that is), but i called when i woke up this morning thinking i would sing happy birthday in a voicemail. well...defying his own rule...he answered, and i was left looking like a bonehead. oh well.

time for lunch and coffee.

maybe we were meant to be

Mon, 18 Jul 2005 20:32:26 GMT

time for an update, i think.

i am inspired by the hefner revival i am in the midst of this summer. i finally buckled down and bought "the fidelity wars" (how did i not buy this 5 years ago?) and it has been a lovely treat...like reese's pieces at the bottom of a bowl of ice cream. it sounds divine on my new car stereo - which actually works....today.

anyway, the musical delights are much appreciated, because otherwise this summer has been really tiring. my car is a whore, erin and i are looking for an apartment i can afford, and i need a new job, so revising my resume and scouring the internet for availabilities (living and professional, though thank GOD not personal) has become my life. also, recently, it has also included reading harry potter, seeing movies with lauren, and paying for numerous $2 cups of coffee. if you don't know the significance of this then you probably aren't laughing, which is too bad, cos man, they're good stories. pitiful, but good.

the rest of the summer is looking better. erin and i both have birthdays next month, she has a graduation (so hott!!), and lauren and i are going to ogunquit for a weekend in august. very excited!! i can't wait til i just move and can get settled. i've been in this weird limbo since scotland...like i am just permanently in a state of holding my breath. time to relax, if i can even remember what that feels like, or its tainted by other memories.

ahh well.

and ashley, i miss you terribly. if my car doesn't break in the next couple weeks i am SO coming to see you. xo

if living...is seeing...i'm holding my breath

Fri, 01 Jul 2005 17:16:38 GMT

things right now are kinda bad. my pseudo relationship has concluded its brief run, and it finished with a twist ending. the twist was a bit unexpected, which i didn't care for, but good riddance to bad rubbish. also, i have some sort of flu and it's been dragging on for days and i wanted to call in sick today but i couldn't. it figures the least paid person at my work is the only one that can't be replaced last minute. nobody else wants to answer these damn phone calls either. so i don't feel good all over, but i'm trying to think about the other stuff i have going on this weekend...the good stuff.

- i bought season one of "strangers with candy" and it has been providing me with much joy at work.
- courtney and jon are having a cookout sunday. i love a good cookout!
- dan colby's fourth of july bonanza is monday. i just need to find a place to watch some fireworks...
- lbt and i are seeing WOW tonight. with candy.

my car isn't broken today, i have a large and delicious cup of coffee on my desk steaming away, and i just bought a book on ebay of 1930s sepia-toned photographs of scotland.

already feeling a bit better.

yesterday my mom and i were watching the cats sit in the window in the sunroom looking longingly outside where "daddy" was doing something unnecessary (but essnetial) in the yard.

"don't ask me why, but they wanna be with daddy." i remarked to my mom knowingly.

"they're just a couple of desperate housecats!" she replied, thrilled with the pop-culture relevance of her joke.

my smile faltered a little, but in the end i hugged her and said, "good one mum."

m*u*s*i*c

"dancer in the dark" soundtrack

i can't believe once you and me did sex

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 16:24:49 GMT

man, i need to update this thing.

today i've got a real case of the monday's.
(debbie downer music here)
my car needs more electrical work and i have a sore throat that won't quit.

the weekend was pretty good, though. i was dogsitting, and despite the heat wave and thunder being in heat, it went off pretty well. i worked and sunbathed and got an oil change for doris. i had ash, erin, and dan colby over and we cooked and went to kimball's and erin played the piano. i went to lauren's and swam in her pool for the first time in years. i yelled obscenities at a tivo'd tom cruise (what a dink) on tv and watched more episodes of "animal cops: houston" than was probably good for me. i went to the westford library booksale (where i got 10+ books for $9, including a springsteen coffee table book for ash) and had tea and hobnobs while reading trashy fiction set in britain. i added a few freckles to my face. i made fun of matt when i phoned and he said he was eating "spaghetti hoops" (stupid british people).

lately i can't get enough of crabtree and evelyn's "la source" hand therapy and pickity place's raspberry orange iced tea mix. also, i am going back to edinburgh after christmas because, i have found, i cannot live without it.

bobby brown's reality show premieres thursday at 10 pm on the bravo channel. i am certainly not one for reality tv when there are plenty of good lifetime and discovery shows to watch, but this one i am VERY excited about. bobby, whitney, bobbi kristina...i'm already fascinated. you must watch. i know it will be good.

finishing this up i already feel better. now it's off to have lunch with my not-boyfriend.

MUSIC FOR MY EARS
kaiser chiefs - everyday i love you less and less
the shins - when i goosestep
the smiths - pretty girls make graves
the postal service - the district sleeps alone tonight

little heart attacks

Tue, 31 May 2005 15:05:15 GMT

i planned today poorly.

we just had monday off and i won't be here the rest of the week cos i'll be in maine, but i neglected to take into consideration today. so here i am at work. just waiting for the day to be over.

the weekend was half busy, half boring. i gardened. i amassed another 3 red sox cups from dunkin donuts. i had a whole saturday with djo - complete with breakfast and thrift stores and idylwilde and i drove the whole day, which is amazing. i hung out with courtney and almost hung out with, like, 5 other people, but then it never happened.

brian was in savannah for the weekend so we hung out yesterday, as planned. the weather cooperated, which i appreciated. we had lunch at blue ginger and coffees on the charles and much conversation til very late at night.

i finished "firestarter" - which means i have now (i'm almost positive) read every s. king book except "the tommyknockers" (sp?), which i don't feel i have to read since even the author advises against it, cos he was on crack at the time and barely remembers writing it.

typing any form of the word knockers just makes me feel like a 12 year old boy.

i feel weary. i feel like there are lots of big decisions to be made and i'll just fuck them up.

erin, we need to get moving on this moving thing.
ashmac, we need to touch faces soon.
rob, yes, we need to talk.
and lau, we need to do anything.

i like picking cd's without looking lately. just flipping with one had and keeping my eyes on the road, telling myself that whatever it is i will listen to at least 3 songs. it makes for interesting rides. some people would probably be surprised to know how much i think about them in the car, because they are so attached to some music. maybe they wouldn't think anything of it, but i think it's kind of amazing...these secret legacies that keep them in my heart for always.

girl with basket

Tue, 24 May 2005 16:27:10 GMT

i made the switch today from regular bland animal crackers to the cinnamon graham variety. while it provided a nice change, the aftertaste is distinctly cinnamony...like, the burning kind of cinnamon.

some unican stole the office depot catalogue from my drawer and i am PISSED. keep your paws off, unicans! (you have to say that like brian fellows)

and ash, can we do o'naturals some night this week? or anything?? i miss you.

give me a fucking break already

Fri, 13 May 2005 01:06:33 GMT

my brake lights aren't working again. this is the fourth time since easter this has happened, and when i figured out tonight they were fucked up...again...well...i burst into tears. again. my anxiety is so out of hand, but will i do something about it? not yet.

doris is going to the dealership next week, though. that girl needs a goddamn beating. i wanted to kick the bumper like something out of a cartoon. still do.

so yah. it makes it hard to remember my joy at seeing ashmac for cd shopping and marshalls (where i got a tweed clutch for $3) last night, though it was fabulous to see her and go through a tirade of cruel jokes at many other people's expense.

i have a new bed. my first bed in westford that fits 2 people, though i have never felt more alone.

we all know what kind of cue that last bit is...

are you hoping for a miracle?

Tue, 10 May 2005 12:38:57 GMT

what i really want to do is watch more episodes of "coupling" (BBC) but i can't because this dude has been sitting in the lobby for the last 20 minutes and it would be very obvious. it's not even 8:00 AM! why are you here, dude with a moustache like barry williams? why?!

jen, my trusty co-worker, is on vacation (in myrtle beach....mmmhmmm) so i get to work her hours instead of my bad ones. this means i come in at 7:30, and leave at 4:00. it's fabulous. the ride home is seamless. my radio in doris still isn't working, though, so i have been forced to drag my 1997 "boombox" into the front passenger seat and listen to ancient mixtapes, cos the cd's skip on all those bumpy back roads. i'm getting a wee bit desperate.

and thank god, seconds ago my friend brian dropped off 6 movies for me to borrow...5 of which i haven't seen.

- clerks
- vision quest
- before sunrise
- where the heart is
- bulworth
- ghost in the shell

he's the best.

tell me your name, tell me your story, tell me how to be thrifty...

Tue, 03 May 2005 21:51:41 GMT

right now i am telling rob online that i am going to revolutionize saving money this summer, and i mean it with all my heart. i have observed some of the cheapest people known to man over the last few years...you know who you are...and i'm ready to learn. the thing is, i want to be thrifty as opposed to cheap. we all know the difference. give me some ideas.

do i want to listen to elefant's "misfit" again?

why yes, yes i do! this might just be the best mixtape ever.

i mean, come on!

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 22:19:25 GMT

my stepfather arthur is famous for making up names of things. some of my favorite examples...

REAL MOVIE TITLE / ARTHUR'S TITLE
sarah, plain and tall . sarah from maine
the secret garden . the magic garden
stone fox . red dog

he also said the name of a painting we have is "evening road" when it really has no name, and also has given his own name to places around town. some of these are...

- devil's corner
- grandfather's bridge
- the happy valley

AND when we used to go to umass lowell hockey games he called the mascot (real name "charlie chief") chuck puck, and the cheese covered french fries "cheesy chips." I LOVE IT.

"oh man, all the goddamn hee-haw's are trying to start the wave again..."

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 16:39:44 GMT

well, i finally got to see another redsox game. jay, the only person i ever see games with, went by himself a few weeks ago and was sitting next to a dude with box seats, and the dude was looking to get rid of last night's game...so jay bought them and took me! he also bought me beers and a big pretzel. this made it extra fun. they lost by one, but it was still a fantastic game. outside i smelled those sausage things and even wanted one, that's how much atmosphere there was. not that i have to tell you this...any of you...but the fenway experience is just the best. yayayayayay!

see a few pictures here...but none of them are very good, despite the good seats.
http://photobucket.com/albums/v626/thistleworks/redsox/

yeah! oh yeah!

Fri, 15 Apr 2005 02:17:59 GMT

right now i really want to do an update about fillibusters and typhoid fever, but there just isn't the time to do more than mention that i wish i could say more. you can blame this on "mr. smith goes to washington" (which, i am embarrassed to admit, i referred to by mistake yesterday as "mr. smith goes to hollywood" - no doubt confusing mr. smith with frankie) and the pbs nova special "typhoid mary" dvd i watched at work today.

in fact, it is probably because of my movie watching that i have NO TIME to update properly, cos i have to go make contract data spreadsheets. this is why i brought the laptop home.

and to listen to stephin merritt's rich vocal stylings.

she toyed with her beads jadedly

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 15:20:44 GMT

for years now, ever since it came out, i have been meaning to purchase the "amelie" soundtrack, but i kept forgetting, or could never find it. the need increased when my favorite used book shop on south clerk street employed a indie youth who would play it during EVERY shift and watch over the top of his obscure, and therefore hip, volume of non-fiction, as customers browsed titles. i would repeatedly tell matthew, "i want this soundtrack!", but then nothing. no follow up. i kept buying levellers and big country albums because, in the uk, a cheap cd is equivalent to about $20, making the entire country one big strawberries store. i could only buy used charity shop cd's, which made for a very interesting collection, most of which i wisely left with poor matthew, along with a bag of clothes he refuses to throw away even though i've told him it's alright. bless his little cotton socks.

that's what he would say, anyway.

then, the other day, i stumbled across it at the jv fletcher library, of all places. this was the ideal solution, because it meant i could then burn it and have it forever without spending a dime. or 10p, even. yay!

so that's been my morning soundtrack. it's perfect for the drive. it's beautiful and sad at the same time, and that's just right for me these days. i mean, i'm not unhappy right now and i can't think of anything i want to change about my life, but there are all these weird undertones which grab me at the oddest moments. it's to be expected, i guess.

on patriot's day, i am hoping to go with my parents to mystic seaport and to the mark twain museum, which is really his house. i went through a moderate mark twain obsession at some point in college, and have wanted to go there ever since. figures they decide to make a big historical day of it on a holiday that my work does not celebrate. still, i just might be able to get it off. we shall see.

it wouldn't be my most memorable patriot's day, but what could top that?

and enough with the pope already. am i alone here?

thank you macsweeny's

Fri, 08 Apr 2005 20:53:36 GMT

LIKE I HAVE TO SAY THIS, BUT I OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T WRITE THE FOLLOWING. I JUST LAUGH AT THEM.

The nurses are trained to handle medical situations and will help make you as comfortable as possible during recovery. You will be able to summon them with the push of a button if you need assistance. However, please keep in mind that Cheryl prefers not to touch the patients, Maria does not understand English, and Arlene likes to watch her "stories" between noon and 2 p.m.

AND

Dear Global Warming,

I know I'm not supposed to like you. I've heard about your grandiose plans to melt the polar icecaps and flood coastal cities, your aspirations to destabilize global weather patterns and throw fragile ecosystems into upheaval, and your desire to have all of us, by the year 2070, living inside geodesic domes, whence we will gaze wistfully out at moribund deserts and dream of greener times. I know everyone says you're bad, but damn it, I don't care, because after six straight days of minus-25-degree weather I'm ready to throw myself into your arms.

Being a man-made ecological phenomenon, you might have some difficulty in commiserating with my plight. You've never had to walk to get groceries with the skin of your face threatening to crack like old plaster because the only sound your car made when you tried to start it was the dry death rattle of an engine that refused to turn over. You've never had to shovel out a driveway while being lashed by blowing snow, with your teeth clattering together in uncontrollable Morse code, while your mind is preoccupied with the concern that your numb ears might have already succumbed to frostbite, and that they could be turning purple in preparation of detaching from your head altogether. If you had suffered through these things, you would not doubt my sincerity. This cold snap has turned me into a half-mad combination of Faust and Sam McGee; I'm willing to do whatever it takes.

I'll start burning coal in my wood stove. I'll buy the most inefficient SUV that Detroit has the gall to put on the market. Whenever a friend says something like "There's not much snow anymore, not like when we were kids" or the topic of climate change comes up, I'll cite with authority one of the studies sponsored by Exxon that claim you don't exist. So, please, let me join you over on the dark side. After all, there's nothing (figuratively) cool about hypothermia, and the prospects of more arable land in the Arctic and balmy weather all year long sounds pretty good to me.

Sincerely,
Mike Ward

P.S. Please disregard my letter from last July's heat wave. I was only joking.

AND

Dear Friends,

As you know, I've always been there for you over the years. But I regret to inform you that, as of July 1, I will no longer come running when you call out my name.

I realize this comes as a shock to some of you, especially those who seem to have had occasion to call out my name several times a day, thus forcing me to come running with all due haste. While I hope that you will still think of me as a friend, I know it will be a blow to not have me at your disposal. You may be angry. But this change in policy must take place.

When I originally recorded "You've Got a Friend," in 1971, it was meant to reach a select audience of people to whom I was actually very close. Having been endowed with certain abilities (super speed, ultra-hearing, a pleasant singing voice, and a loving nature), I decided to use my powers for good and provide assistance to others in the form of a sort of "super friendship." While other superheroes chose to fly, catch bank robbers, patch up dams, and the like, I decided that James Taylor would be the most powerful and loving friend this world had ever known. And, hopefully, maintain a successful recording career at the same time in order to pay the bills and have a creative outlet.

The plan worked well. The song became a hit, selling millions of copies, and was distributed around the world. Since it was a song from my heart (even though Carole King wrote it), I was pleased by its success and hoped that listeners would think of it as a sentiment to be shared between two friends, neither of which would necessarily be me. For the most part, that was the case. But soon there emerged a growing group that cracked my code, realizing that "You've Got a Friend" was not just a song but an implicit contract. Almost none were really my "friends" to begin with, but they started calling out my name. I would be in the middle of tuning my guitar or making tea in my kitchen at the Martha's Vineyard house and my ultra-hearing would pick up a desperate "James Taylor!" from someone who had just had a fight with their boyfriend, or binged on ice cream again, or lost out on a promotion, or needed someone to hold the ladder while they cleaned the gutters, or whatever. When that happened, I would dutifully come running to see them. Again.

For a while, I was fine with this. My superpowers made it all feasible, if a bit time-consuming. I was seeing the world and I really seemed to be helping people. Sure, I never knew the boss or the family member that they were complaining about, so I couldn't give advice really, so I just listened (a lot!), and that seemed to be what they needed anyway. But by the late '80s, I noticed that my recording career was tapering off. Billy Joel or Christopher Cross would call me up (using the phone, thank goodness) to record something, but I would be too busy responding to a farmer in Iowa calling out my name or a banker in Tokyo who decided to yell "James Taylor!" as loud as he could because he felt "uneasy." And boom, because I was being a friend, I lost out on the gig.

By the '90s, things were clearly out of control, but a deal was a deal. I had told people that I would be there, yes I would. But I was going days without sleeping, eating whatever food I could grab on the road, rarely seeing my family, who wondered, quite fairly, why I never seemed to be around for them. And it was always the same people calling out my name. Four or five times a day. Occasionally, in desperation, I would bring them puppies or kittens, something else to channel their love to, but they would never get the hint. Free copies of the Sweet Baby James album were rarely accepted enthusiastically.

Finally, after a particularly harrowing beginning of 2004, I've decided that enough is enough. Was it Mrs. S of Minneapolis who had taken to calling out "James Taylor! And grab some ice cream! Strawberry!"? Might have been. Could have been Mr. F in Melbourne who screamed my name at two in the morning and then changed his mind when I got there and told me to leave. The entire classroom of first graders to whom Ms. W taught the "James Taylor trick" certainly didn't help matters.

But in reality it's all of these cases. And so many more over so many years. Because while I have been a friend, I don't think most of you know the meaning of friendship. So the deal is off. As of July 1, if you call out my name, all you'll hear is the sound of your own voice. I will be taking time to work on a new album and touring some colleges in the Northeast with my good friend Art Garfunkel. Between now and June 30, however, the deal still stands, but I do ask you to use it judiciously and perhaps begin to taper off.

Thanks.

Your "friend,"
James Taylor